Pick it, Grind it, Fold it, Roll it, Lick it, Twist it, Bite it, Light it.

So, my fine feathered friends, today I'm going to roll a joint. 

Quite honestly, I'm terrified. 

As I've heard it, everyone's first joint absolutely sucks. And by sucks, I mean it's absolute shit. I have decided to try and overcome that stereotype, and roll a nice ass jay on my first try. Now, I know you guys are all thinking (and by you guys I mean the 2 people who may or may not ever read this) that this kid is crazy... certifiably, undeniably a lunatic. Or that I'm just stupid and my first roll-up is gonna suck regardless. But here's the deal... I think I've got it down to a rhyme. 

Pick it grind it, 

Fold it roll it, 

Lick it twist it, 

Bite it light it.

For those of you out there who are idiots, I'll go ahead and explain this to you. 

Pick it: Pick out your bud, dumbass. 

Grind it:.........Grind your herbs. 

Fold it: Make sure your paper has a proper crease and that it'll act nicely as a container for the green. 

Roll it: This is the hard part... gotta get that edge to catch, and roll out from the center while compacting the grass. 

Lick it: Lick the gum and glue that jay up right. 

Twist it: Twist the looser end. That's where you'll light it. 

Bite it: Now, only some people I've seen do this... you bite the twisty off the end. I think that's just for people who want to avoid paper inhalation. 

Light it: LIGHT UP BITCHES!!!

This is what it's come down to, as far as I'm concerned. I think I'll use a filter, but that's TBD depending on how lazy I feel, or how much bud I want to swallow. Sooooo.... yeah fuck it I'll use a filter. 

ALLLLRIGHTY! Well, it's about time to do that homework so I can spend some serious time on this later... I most certainly intend on making this absolutely perfect. I'll post a picture of what it turns out like, just so you fuckers can see what a GOD I am. Or how much I suck. We'll see. 

Until then, I'll just leave this here...

About as Formal as it'll Get.

Ladies and gents!

I'm pleased to present to you this most humble of sights... this most innocuous of readings, and this most pleasant of canniblogs. Please, take it as both a learning experience, as well as an endeavor of love and enjoyment for one's own hobby and interests.

Here on this blog, I'll be recording and most probably embellishing stories of my own and others' debauchery, as well as trying to make sense of the thoughts and feelings that arise from them. Not to say that this is about to become a creamy circle-jerky cry-all-of-your-tears-out love session, but it will try to rejoice in the growing individuality and independence of the young adulthood of a growing man.

In all honesty, one of my main purposes here is to cause a giggle or two. To smile a real smile is to be happy, and happiness in and of itself has become a most treacherous journey and destination all in one. As the ever wise Winston Churchill once said, "A joke is a very serious thing, indeed."

To be blunt, this blog will indeed revolve a good bit around the usage of cannabis. In no way do I recommend or condone acts of illegality or of criminal purpose... but do like Snoop and Dre said back in the 90's and smoke weed.

Finally, (yes, this long winded fuck is almost done) I hope you get the utmost enjoyment out of my experience here as a blogger... let's see what happens!

"To beers and to tears,

And to all in between,

To things said and things past,

And things yet to be seen...

To life and to laughter,

And to death just as well,

Remember my friends!

Heaven is hell."